its like 3 months before the engagement...our engagement...well the reason i create this blog so i can be sincere to myself...some might find it ugly how someone who is about the settle down has feelings for someone else...well..maybe that is what they call UGLY TRUTH...now im trying to start all over new...i try to focus life i have now....
me n him...which him?..my BF...he has been working hard to make sure he is ready for our future plan but im afraid he start to abandon me..i try to give him the signal not to do that often no matter how i understand what he is doing but i need some attention too..we have been in long distance relationship for like 6years...we seldom meet..maybe 3,4 times each year...so all i asks is his attention...yea, we talk everyday but now its getting regular and sour....its like we have this must-ask question for each other like 'have u eat?'..'what u wear?..' and we start to enter silent zone....am i asking too much from him??...i feel so greedy at the moment....last night we had dis little discussion about what colour we should wear for the engagement..itu macam tak tentu hala discussionnya...i wish it will be something fun to discuss... =( life is not beautiful as it is.....
now im missing him..he remain silent..does he fall asleep again?...where are you when i need u........the temptation is so great out there...hold me closer...im hang on to you................
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
loves who loves you
not less than 10 minutes after i post entry about my chat with albert...i come to realise i should grow up..he will not coming back to me no matter what...things wont get back as they were before....its getting impossible we can get together....IM RUNNING BACK TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND...................he is my future now.................
Can we not meet?
Albert: I didn't get your previous message.. Hehe.. Karma did come and bite me in the ass
young: is it possible we meet before this year end?
Albert: What for if I might ask?
young: because its 1 of my wishlist.well..it is one side benefit anyway..
Albert: Can we not meet?
young: why?
young: i know its pretty annoying question but atleast i know y..
Albert: A lot of reason actually.. But basically is that I wanna things to stay the way there are
young: oo...ok..expected... i think even God wants things to stay like the way they are
young: is your GF online?dia pesan bagitau albert that she misses u
Albert: She's online.. She's not answering pun.Actually.. When I reached Sabah the first time round you SMS my friend and we on the phone.. My first instinct was to meet you.. Big mistakes should if happen.. My
young: big mistake?
Albert: Erm.. It will be..
young: understood
Albert: You seem not to see what I forsee?
young: i cant actually...
Albert: You could if you were to read my notes
young: ok...you penah cerita sebab kalau kita jumpa something will happened
young: because we like each other..im still like u now..
Albert: Like? I wrote love.. Is it me yg perasan kah when I wrote that?
young: love actually...sebenarnya malu sudah tulis gitu sebab like im the only 1 left
Albert: . Then it's true that we are in loves.. As written..
young: may i quote ur words that u said to me before this?
young: on 2nd thought..nda jadi la quote our chat tu..its just history bah tu..no point juga..u got ur point dalam note juga. im glad i still keep my own notes juga..how beautiful it was
Albert: I need to remind myself that you are engaged to be married.. Kalu nda.. It's hard to tahan actually
young: im the 1 who suppose to realise dat..im no longer that person which stand on diverge...im heading 1 way now...but i need u. i feel like my brain, my creativity, my jokes got faded without u.gosh.
Albert: As a friend .. I'll always be there for you
young: and i hate it whenever im jealous of your GF..i wanna smash my head on the wall!@_@ i feel like stupid.i hope in times my heart n mind get along.
young: still there?
Albert: As a friend .. I'll always be there for you
Albert: Haha.. Jangan bah gitu.. Sometimes friendship last longer than lovers
young: u r absolutely right....1 thing i regret about this friendship is we have to hide it.
Albert: It's ok.. Let's flow as long as it flow .. Surelly all of this will end after you're married
young: end?u mean this friendship?
Albert: Ya.. It will end.. Surelly
young: i dunno what to say anymore but no use to cry over didnt happned yet so lets cherish the moment we still have..thats y i want to see u but not approved.than i wanna ask when u gonna write again?
Albert: Question: when the time we usually chat?
young: u mean nowadays?nowadays at this hour.but previously when u at work.2-5pm and early morning 1am-3am..
Albert: Where will your husband during those period?
young: haha..got ur point..ok,at home.thats y im asking u to write again..i want to stay connected to u.through writing atleast.
Albert: Blog?
young: ya..perhaps blog.
Albert: I don't know where to start.. Lagipun.. Your hubby will request for your password juga tu nanti..
young: erm.....i cant make u write..it suppose to be something u truely want to write.
Albert: For you.. I try..
young: saya ada new blog but i want to make it anynomous..erm,kalau you bilang begitu...understood juga la.just write when u want to...dont try too hard..i must tell u this.u r great writer.
Albert: Am I?
young: yes.comment from ur loyal reader..haha..or was it affected by our friendship..haha..naa..u r still great writer if i dont know u. go read ur blog..u made ur points there
Albert: I read it more than twice already.. I don't understand much.. But I have to say that it seem to be very much influential with your blog
and the next day his blog updated =) all i can say thank you very much. If anyone notice,i change the name coz the previous 1 is too close with the real name.
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